ambassador rising

What does your witness look like?

Shortly after I dedicated my life to the Lord in 2001, I joined a traveling ministry where we traveled the country and did skits for churches. We even did street ministry and went door to door just witnessing to people. We (The teams I was on) relied heavily on love offerings and the occasional money our parents would send us. I never felt like I belonged in the youth group I attended. I often joke about being rejected by the nerds… But when I joined the ministry, I grew in boldness. I read a lot about how Paul (The guy who wrote a majority of the New Testament) was bold in his faith especially when he was persecuted for it. Paul went from hunting and killing Christians to being the one we inspire to become the most like.

My faith in the Lord and my witness became so strong that I would tell anybody and everybody anbout the Gospel regardless of what may come to me.

What does your witness look like?

Fast forward to a few years later. I was married, my first born was only a few months old and we had went out to Arizona to visit my parents and my brothers. I can’t remember the reason, but we flew in and out of Las Vegas which was 4 a four hour drive from their house. My dad and one of my brothers had picked us up from the airport. after about a week, we had three friends take us back to that same airport. These were friends I grew up with so naturally we were being extremely sarcastic with each other.

About an hour into the drive and several barbs thrown at each other, I heard the Lord whisper to me “tell your friend that I love him”. My response was “We still have three hours left to drive so I’ll tell him at some point.” for some reason I didn’t want to be the buzz kill of the trip. During the trip the barbs didn’t stop coming, and the Lord asked me three other times to tell my friend that He loved him.

We get to the airport and I hear the Lord say one more time “tell him I love him”. And for the fourth and final time of the trip I decided to keep my mouth shut. I went from being extremely bold in my faith and will to witness to anybody and everybody to not wanting to look like an idiot in front of my friends. A week and a half later I got a phone call from one of my other friends on that trip that the friend I refused to tell about the love of Jesus had ended his life. I was so shaken and felt so guilty about what had happened that I yelled and God and said “Don’t you ever ask me to do something like that again”. I didn’t want the resposibility of someone else’s eternity on my shoulders. Romans 10:14 says ‘How then will they call on Him whom they do not believe? How will they believe in whom they have not heard? How will they hear without someone preaching?’ verse 15 says: ‘How are they to preach unless they are sent?’ I had believe whole-heartedly that I was who Paul was talking about in verse 15 and my friend was potentially the man he was talking about in verse 14. Had my friend ever heard about the love of Jesus? I don’t know.

What does your witness look like?

Fast forward to about five years ago, my witness wasn’t as weak as it had been but I still allowed the guilt of what had happened cause me to second guess what I was going to say. I would stumble during my speech. I was at a birthday party and a friend had asked me why I was so afraid to tell people about the love of Jesus when He had blessed my family and I so much. I told her what had happened to my friend and she rebuked the spirits of guilt and fear out of me and started praying for love and grace to return.

I still don’t like getting up in front of large crowds and I still sometimes stumble and second guess what I am wanting to say. But even as I am writing this (this is not in my notes) God called Moses who stumbled and stuttered a lot in his speech. Did that make Moses any less called? No. 2nd Corinthians 5:20 says ‘We are ambassadors for Christ, God making His appeal through us.’ Since my friend had spoken over me what she had, I have studied more and asked for the boldness to return to me so I be that kind of witness again. Have I succeeded in being that witness every single time? No, but I still put in that effort to make sure that those who God brings into my path will know That Jesus loves them.

February of ‘24 I got the chance to meet my favorite author at a meet and greet in St. Louis. I was extremely nervous about what I was going to say to him while he was signing the book I just bought from him. I had been thinking about what I wanted to say for several weeks, and when the time came to say what I wanted to say to him, Jesus whispered into my ear: “Tell him I love him.” I said “I drove three and a half hours to meet you and have you sign this book for me. I thought about what I wanted to say to you, but the only thing that comes to mind is the only thing that matters in this moment. Jesus Loves you man, I hope you know that and just how much he does.” He looked at me with a surprised look on his face. His eyes said “nobody ever wants to tell me that”. I hope I read that look wrong. Did he get saved that night? No, at least, not while I was there. Is he saved now? I don’t know. My job was to plant the seed. I walked away that night proud that I was able to have to opportunity to witness to that man.

I will end with this 2nd Timothy 1:7 says “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power and love and a sound mind”

What does your witness look like?